Friday, 13 December 2019

Attachment can be detached

It has been awhile and today I feel like writing.
Many things happen since my last post.
A lot of miracle, happy and tears shed these past days.

I never thought of finding someone to be with.
I'm okay with being alone
I treasure my alone time
But somehow one day I stumble upon this one guy.
I instantly feel comfortable and was able to talk about anything with him.
I was honest about how I'm feeling and being direct with everything.
He makes me feel comfortable.
So I thought it was love.
I grown attached to him, really really attached.
I want to talk and see him everyday.
I went to an extend to confessed to him.
Because my mind thinks it was the correct thing to do at that time
At the same time, my instinct feel something fishy about him.
Something was not right.
But I choose to bypass it.
Maybe it was just me overthinking as usual
But it turns out to be something.
He is someone I shouldn't get involved it.
I walk away.
I walk away as soon as I found out about it.
It was the best decision I made.
Maybe it was hard at first
But now I'm glad I make it
And now I blooming.
I'm happy, way more happy than when I'm with him
Because even though I'm comfortable with him
I get insecure.
I get insecure and way more sad and lonely.
I always feel like I'm not worth it.

But now, I don't think so
I'm more than he deserve
I deserve better
I have grown out of the attachment.
I realize that being attached means you can be detached.
It wasn't anything permanent.
and an attachment that feels right doesn't necessarily a correct.
Turns out I was just lonely and someone came and I thought he could fill the void.
But he wasn't what I actually need.
I need me.
I just wake up and realize I lost myself
That's why
But now I'm awake and flying :)

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Bucket list

Bucket list

BUCKET LIST

CONTINENTS
Antartica
North America
South America
Australia
Europe
Africa
Asia

ADVENTURE
Tandem paragliding
Skiing
Skydiving
Fly in hot air balloon
Scuba diving/snorkelling

TRAVEL
Malaysia
Kundasang (Sabah)
Semporna(Sabah)

Africa
See Pyramids of Giza(Egypt: Cairo)

Asia
See the Great Wall of China(China)
See the Forbidden City (China:Beijing)
See the Taj Mahal(India: Agra)

Europe
See the Acropolis(Greece:Athens)
See the Mona Lisa(France:Paris)
See the Eiffel Tower(France:Paris)
See the Colosseum(Italy: Rome)
See the Neuschawanstein Castle(Germany:Schwangau)

Australia
See the Sydney Opera House(Australia: Sydney)

South America
See the Head Statues on Easter Island(Chile: Easter Island)
See Machu Picchu( Peru:Macchi Picchu)

North America
See the Hoover Dam(US: Nevada/Arizona)
See the Statue of Liberty(US: New York)

ANIMALS AND NATURE
North America
See the Aurora Borealis (US: Alaska)
See the Grand Canyon (US: Arizona)
See the Redwood Forest (US: California)
South America

See the Iguazu Falls( Argentina)

Europe
See the Alps(France, Italy, Switzerland or Germany)

Asia
See Mount Everest(Nepal)

Australia
See the Great Barrier Reef (Australia:Queensland)

CREATIVITY
Try Ebru Art
Pottery making
Attend sewing class
Knit myself a mermaid blanket
Knit a single sized blanket

FASHION AND BEAUTY
Attend make up class
Have my own walk in closet
Grow healthy waist-length hair

HOBBIES
Knitting
Solve a Rubik's cube
Start a blog
Learn embroidery
Start cross-stitching

RELATIONSHIP
Fall in love for the first time
Get married before 30
Get myself a travel and adventure partner
Create a family tree
Go on a road trip with a friends
Sponsor my parent's travel

SPORTS AND FITNESS
Return to my old weight 47 kg
Try horseback riding
Learn swimming
Learn archery

MUSIC AND ENTERTAINMENT
Learn to read a music sheets
Sing a karaoke

FINANCE AND LIFESTYLE
Start online business
Promote business
Open a boutique
Own my first house
Own a land

EDUCATION
Graduate as a medical doctor
Get a Masters in Ophthalmology
Learn a new language

CONTRIBUTION
Do a volunteer work

SPIRITUALITY
Perform Umrah and Hajj
Learn to forgive
Learn to share

FOOD
Try Mexican food
Try tteokbokki

TRANSPORTATION
Have a car license

PERSONAL GROWTH
Stop procrastinating
Become an early riser
Release the past

VOCATION (as a student)
Get B and above in my end of posting exam

WORLDLY FESTIVALS AND EVENTS TO ATTEND
Harbin Ice and Snow Festival (China: Harbin)
White night Festival(Russia: St. Petersburg)
Holi(India)
Carnival of Venice(Italy: Venice)
Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta(US: New Mexico)
Boryeoung mud festival(South Korea)
Kuekonhof Tulip Festival(Holland: Lisse)
Deventer Book Fair(Netherlands)
August Moon Festival (Greece)
Frankfurt Book Fair(Germany)
Yeouido Cherry Blossom Festivals(South Korea)
New York Fashion Week(US:New York)

JUST FOR FUN
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