DAY 75: Aku dah bosan.Aku dah bosan.

*sigh, * sigh, *sigh and *sigh again...

"Salam sejahtera 

PERHATIAN kepada PELAJAR ASASI SAINS HAYAT 3
Kelas gantian pada petang ini (15 Feb 2013, 230-430pm) dibatalkan. Sila maklumkan kepada rakan2 yang lain

Sekian"

Inilah perkara yang membuatkan aku mengeluh tak henti-henti. Waktu first tahu pengumuman, I was like...

"What class cancelled? Aku nak buat ape doe. Aku dah sakit badan dah tidur.." said me to my roomate.

Memang sangat lost, tak tahu gila nak buat apa whole evening ni. Seperkara lagi yang buat aku malas nak dengar pengumuman sebegini sebab mesti nanti class tu kena replace next time. Dan perkara tu yang paling buat aku *sigh *sigh. Malas nak pergi kelas ganti. Sebab timing dia mesti tak kena feel, kadang tu petang-petang alam macam ni ada lecture. Punyalah nak katup mata tu hanya Tuhan yang tahu. For this case dia adalah kelas ganti yang bakal digantikan pada satu waktu yang akan ditetapkan nanti. LOL. Kalau dia ganti minggu depan. Aku memang speechless dah minggu depan ada PBL nya. Lab lagi. Tak ke pack nanti minggu depan kalau ada kelas ganti. Hurmmmmm...

Sangat kot!!!! Kalau kat rumah boleh kacau ayah =,=" kat sini....apo eh yang nak dikacau..:P

Takpelah maybe I can something to do this evening. Buat sajalah apa benda pun asalkan masa terisi yang pasti kejap lagi nak shut down terus lappy sebab dia selalu drag me to something worthless. Movie lah, facebooking lah, apa lagi..Oh.oh..survey baju kat butik online lah. pastu mesti end me up  beli something and that's terrible. Buat bazir duit belanja mingguan aku je. Karang ada yang ayah mogok tak nak masuk duit sebab asyik membazir je. So, adalah lebih baik saya Syeikha Zulaikha shut down lappy and pergi baca buku. SEKIAN

*Saya nak kaji software Macromedia Flash malam ni. Kena start project software IT minggu ni juga. Nanti last minute nanti tak termampu nak mengejau *tu kau... dah tukau slang melaka dah.Hahah

EH?! lelebih pulak gambar ni :P haha

DAY 67:Borrow|Lend

We never stop borrowing and lending.

You borrow mine. I'm borrowing yours. It's the thing that always happens in our life whether you realize it or not it still occurs. 

The thing that I was going to highlight here is 'the responsibilities' to take care others belonging properly, by means in a way that the owner would love it. Some of the people, yeah the know how to borrow something from other however they weren't that responsible to that particular thing until the owner felt unsatisfied with him/her. 

Up to certain situation, we did commented on their behavior but well... you know human, they never take it seriously and if they take it seriously, they just take it seriously, hatred and sayings such as, "Ahh...you're being so stingy, fussy and etc" . Oh...real jerk! When this situation happen it turns out that it is actually us*again. Us! Were the one to be blamed? *What the hell was that? I am the owner*the rightful owner and when I play the role as the real owner then I'm the one to be blamed? For what reason people? Just tell me. For telling you to take a good care of my belongings? * Is it wrong? Oh. Come on... Make up your mind. Don't be silly ... It is crystal clear I'm the owner. I'm the one who buy those things. In sum, I'm the owner! So, where and when on earth did the people said that the owner had no rights on his/her belonging? Huh?

It is you! The borrower should go and have himself or herself reflected on a mirror. Look at yourself. Who are you, before having your forefinger pointing at me? Got it?! 

Ha-ha. Am I too emotional? Suddenly realize it. LOL Syeikha. Over-acting. It's actually not currently happening in my life though. It just what I' thinking. The habit of certain people. Borrowing something but not caring of taking a hold of responsibilities to take a good care of that particular thing that they are borrowing. Took less about what the owner feel when you damaging his/her things. Please people; put yourself in the owner shoes. What would you feel when the thing that you care and love most was spoiled.*not by yourself, it even worse if it was spoiled by others. If you got the feeling, then brace yourself. Take a good care of that thing that you're borrowing. You know what? This world is round. It kept on spinning*(I'm not sure if it's the perfect term to explain), on and on. So, what comes around goes around. What you do now, you'll get it back sooner or later. It's karma thing people. Therefore, take a deep thought of what you're doing. Yeah, damaging others belonging were not a big deal or not to significant for some of us but at least try yourself to make it worth. LOL. XOXO

*You know what if I'm the owner. Me myself hate the borrower who less care on the thing that they did borrow from me.

Maybe we should have the borrowing rules printed out and give it to the borrower

DAY 62:Alone in Silence

Silence.
One word describe Kolej Seroja now. No more laughing, chatting echo heard. I can't hear anything accept for the 'meowing' sound of the college settler, the cats. I got nothing else to do today accept for novel-ing, face booking, movie-ing last but not least *lol blogging. Sangatlah bosan. I'm tired of all these activities. Really really tired of it. Sick. Whole day spend all of my time, tacking my eyes to computer screen Absolute shortsightedness lah. If I'm doing my reading, means back pain. Arghh. Lenguh-lenguh satu badan. Kalau tak mengantuk lepas tu tertidur. Bangun-bangun. "Eh??!!dah berjam aku tidur!!!" , sekali lagi pembaziran waktu dalam hidup. Not doing anything beneficial. Truly not helpful for my time consume. Time throwing. The silence was kind of scary-not kind of, but really scary even I've this experience before, was left in college without with me. Selalu sangat stay lama kat college. Kalau balik semenanjung pun selalu antara yang terakhirlah. Sangatlah creepy for me to live here. Nak keluar bilik pun agak teragak-agak. However, if I kept holding onto the jitters, how on earth I can live by myself, alone-isn't it? So I have to, whether I want it or not. :)
The thing that I really hate it, when it comes about the holiday without others in college is, cafe was closed. Damn it! Arghhh.. When cafe was closed I have to walk out *again walk out to Desa Ilmu to have my meal. I don't really mind to walk out but when I got blister on feet every time I walk* everytime I forgot to put my socks on. Then, I call it hell. It hurt so much- the more it hurts when it comes in contact with water. Awww!!! It hurts so much. Credits to everyone who stays in wing BC because of they were at home right now as I can shout as much I want when my feet hurts so much. lol. Release the tense. Haha.
Keyboard off. Time to spend my 'alone' time as well as possible.lol

#oh! this time I've my roommate with me.

DAY 54:QUIZ MATHS yang seh-nang (_00_)

Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out.. Breath in, breath out.. Breath in, breath out.... Breath in, breath out....*terlebih sudah
Yeah! Quiz maths tadi memanglah sangat-sangat gempak untuk aku. Huahuahua. Biasalah 'genius maths' katakan.*penipuan. Quiz-quiz jadah itik ni memang menguji kesabaran jiwa dan raga aku betullah. Time mula-mula dapat kertas. Aku punya syok tahap menonggenglah. Dua soalan je kut. Lek lek lu. Tapi bila dah start buat !@#$%^ *this one bukan represent carutan eh.It represent kecelaruan minda yang aku alami. First question, memang lancar je lah tangan ni tulis-tulis. Masuk soalan 2, cuba-cubalah juga nak kekalkan kelancaran kepala otak..So tangan ni tulis-tulislah. First, cari coordinates pastu carik inflection..bila nak buat-buat tetiba stuck. Apakah? Macam pelik tahap monyet glow in the dark *kui.kui.terselit pulak cerita dalam kelas Mr Faizal. Eh.Eh. sambung cerita balik... Bila dah stuck tu mula lah merewang. Dalam otak tu memang takde benda lain yang aku fikir, mesti "Technique dah betul dah ni,silap kira lagilah ni." Try kira-kira balik. Tak dapat juga tetap weird jawapan dia ni. Termenung kejap. Tukar posisi duduk. Kuak rentang, kuak kupu-kupu, kekuda kambing.Eh? Semua aku buat dah tak pikir tu dewan kuliah ke apa dah *obviously aku ni bukan seorang wanita yang bersopan-santun seperti yang digembar-gemburkan.lololol. Tadi pakai pen teurs tukar pencil, try kira-kira kat tepi pulak. Blurr lagi. Chicken punya soalan. Ape ke peliknya? Nak kira balik ke tak.?Nak ke tak? Nak ke tak? Aishhh..Kalau nak kira balik kena liquid semua benda ni balik masa tinggal half hour je nih..Mata aku dah sakit nak, kepala pun dah cucuk-cucuk ni.Ah..lantaklah!!!#Angkat tangan terus blah dari dewan.Hahaha. Hebat sungguh ending aku. Memang tak beretika sungguh. Ada ke patut tinggalkan dewan padahal memang dah tahu lagi sekor soalan tu memang diyakini jawapan nya salah. LOL. Midsem minggu depan aku buat perangai macam ini.
So korang apakah pengajaran yang anda dapat hari ini.
'Jangan guna pen......Nanti malas nak padam...!!!"
 Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......Salah!
Pengajarannya adalah lain kali kalau nak jawab soalan fiir dulu jangan pakai tulis je terus. Interpret what the question are dulu baru fiki jalan kerja dia. Aku tadi terus buat jalan kerja je. Tak interpret betul-betul pun. Ingatkan soalan tu sama maca soalan yang aku biasa buat latihan. Tetiba dia manipulate lah pulak. Okay.Fikir dulu sebelum jawab :))
Oh! dan berjuang hingga ke saat terakhir nanti menyesal tak sudah. Faham?!
Mid sem minggu depan !T.T

* tadi acik private message aku kat fb. Dia rindu aku. Suruh balik.Masalahnya.....aku tak baiklah cuti midsem ni :'(

DAY 51:Typical Maths Thinking.|TMT|

I'm quite bad on numbers but quite advance on words. LOL

the things that I've just realize it just now. The special thing about me is that I'd analyze written words better than analyzing number. That's it.! 

Suddenly, I remember the times when I'm still in school. I can write a very very long essay in short time but take such along time to solve mathematical question that only need a few step to solve it. Huh?! I don't I should be proud of this or feel down because of this. Till now I still wonder why on earth it is hard for me to deal with these number thingy. Why? I've to make a lot of effort if I want to score Maths in exam. Sometimes, I do jealous with some of my friends. They are so so advance in Maths. It's not because they are advance then I'm jealous of them but it's because they are so damn crazy that they can score 100% easily. I can still remember( * I thought so). during I'm in form  three if I'm not mistaken. There's a guy that left his calculator during our Maths exam but he just go on with the exam without bother himself to find any calculator. The exam just go on like usual for him but somehow when the results were out, it turns out that, he got 100% for his test. Crap!*for me. I'm the one with super modern calculator can even beat him. The worst part is, I was left behind him far apart. A big difference in our marks. That's so annoying isn't it? At least for me. I don't know if any of you do feel the same with me or not. :(

So, because the 'loser' part of me in Maths makes me to be one of 'the haters'. Honestly speaking, my body will sometimes lost it's inner energy when I have Maths class and especially TEST. The shivering part was double triple awful. It takes few minutes before it can settle down. It's terrible. Some of the people in my life do remind me. "Maths was so freaking easy", "Maths was so enjoyable", "Maths just need an exercise' and etc. But seriously and truthfully I said that, "Maths was so hard.Really really hard.For me!". Yeah! You did say about the exercise things and so on but believe me, even with a lot lot of exercise I can't be that advance because of some ruthless small mistakes that I make. That's me. Always and always making small mistakes that cause big effect to my answer every time I do Maths. Arghhhh!!! My carelessness. That's the problem. It's a 'always' for me. *cries*

 Oh Maths why can't you be easy towards me #pleading.Please.....

Seriously, I don't know why we need those complicated Maths. I hope this semester is the last time I see you Maths *the complicated ones'. :P

DAY 35:Comment rejected somehow.

Pernah tak you met someone that really really annoy you.

Macam dia kutuk you, or maybe menjatuhkan semangat you.

For instance

"Eh, Syeikha you tak sesuailah jadi ....bla...bla..."

"Eh, Syeikha you pasti ke yang you akan capai yang you nak. You bukannya hebat pun kan."

"Syeikha, your voice buatkan you tak sesuailah untuk jadi doktor. Mati nanti pesakit tu" =,='

Aduhai..

macam-macamlah manusia ni, voice pun  can become an issue. Tak pernah pula aku dengar pesakit mati disebabkan voice doktor tu. Sungguhlah tak boleh diterima pakai idea si tukang karut ini.

You know what I don't mind pun if you nak tegur me or whatever it is. I don't mind but please lah berfikiran yang "normal" sikit tak perlulah nak jadi luar biasa sangat pendapat you tu. Mengkelamkan kepala otak aku je berfikir why on earth did you give that comment. Sangat tak masuk akallah dear. 

I don't know atas tujuan apa you did say that but seriously 'tak masuk akal', tak 'in' langsunglah your point of view,sayang oi!.

Haha.

I really don't know what are the thing that you have in your mind fella. Tak tahu langsung what's the purpose of saying that to me. Nak kata you jealous I got nothing untuk buat you jealous dengan I. Nothing. Biasa-biasa je Syeikha Zulaikha ni. Nak kata you nak bagi nasihat....Well, that's kinda weird one, lah pulak..

Anythinglah uolls, yang penting I know what I want right now, I've got my short and long term plan. Dapat tak dapat. Sesuai tak sesuai itu belakang kira. All I know I'm gonna work for it. I'm gonna smack it!

Rezeki kita siapa yang tahu. My life principle senang je. Just go on and work it out. The result? Let it be a question mark!Jyeah!Hahah!

Wise comment, accepted. Unwise comment, lalallalala~ 

#Yang pasti now I'm stuck doing maths tutorial. Susah nau soalan Mr.Alif ni.Haha. XD

DAY 20: The TOUGH<-____->Me |:

Now,

being alone in room without my roommates or "zebra crossing" neighbor, sungguh-sungguhlah sunyi.

Budak dua orang ni pun satu. Nak tinggalkan aku sekali dua-dua terus. At least bergilir-gilirlah.

One can't wait to go back home for Christmas, the other one over-spirited go for Muhayyam.

maka tinggallah beta keseorangan mengenang nasib sendiri.#cough

But somehow there's a benefit behind all these.

At least they give me some space to think, to motivate myself.

Alaaaa..lebih kurang sesi tazkirah kepada diri sendirilah.Kalau budak dua ketul ni ada, tak ada maknanya nak tazkirah-tazkirah, tarzan-tarzaniah adalah.LOL

...

So, while being alone right now, I start to think my past, my present and my future.

Recalling back what I've done all these days. Is it the right thing or absolutely wrong. 

Recalling and scanning my past and my present, realizing I've done a lot lot of mistakes without perceiving it. Make stupid things without long thought. Most of the decision I made was based on what I think might be cool, fun leaving the thought on what's the consequences. Senang cerita keputusan buta. Buta pada keseronakan dan kepuasan perasaan manusia. So, that's the virus yang dapat dikesan dalam proses scanning. There's a lot more yang dijumpai but takkanlah I nak tulis semua kat sini nanti jadi karangan SPM pulak kan?

Not just to stop there,

I'm thinking but my future too. Gerangan apakah si Syeikha ini akan jadi pada masa hadapan. Trying to thing about that. Have the thought, 'macam mana hidup sebagai fully grown up adult?'. Susah ke senang. How it would be? Macam mana nanti I nak uruskan my own life. Uruskan duit sendiri, makan minum sendiri, rumah sendiri, kereta... you know that thought  that come when you see an adult. Semua difikirkan. How is my life when I live alone.? * Boleh ke I hidup seorang. Yelah, right now tak rasa seoang sangat because of suasana kolej tu kan walaupun dah jauh daipada family. Yang cuba dibayangkan nanti the time when I dah fully keluar dari family house ada my bungalow sendiri *tak kongsi-kongsi lagi dengan ayah. Macam mana keadaan tu nanti.?

Mesti lonelykan? Creepy pun ada juga. Yelah, dah kata duduk seorang. Takde geng tukang buat bising,yang ada bunyi sengkerik je. Mesti masa tu bulu roma tegak mengalahkan KLCC. sesi rewinding cerita hantu yang pernah dilihat,didengar semua keluar- non-stop.

Pergh~! tak dapat eden bayangkan. 

Dah teragak-agak ni. Dah besar nanti nak duduk sorang ke tak? Nak ke tak? #bajet diri masih kecil lagi je...

But when we try to think it deeply.Sampai bila nak duduk bawah ketiak wangi ayah and ibu, sampai bila nak bergayut kat diorang kan? 

Kalau fikirkan takut tu memang takut, tapi kalau nak diikutkan takut kita tu je sampai bila tak ke mana.

Nak ke sana. "eeeiiii.takutlah",  pakej sekali dengan muka nak makan penampar.

Nak ke situ. "Alaaa, tak beranilah"

Alamatnya, membatulah kat situ. Kan?

Better make a move kan. Buanglah rasa takut takut tu semua Buat semak je.

Keluar dari kepompong tu.

tak perlu takut nak menghadapi cabaran future.

Erase semua mentality expecting everything will be as comfortable as what our mum an dad prepare for us.

That fear to your future was actually because of this mentality.

Come on fella,

before parent give you what you have now,diorang susah payah dulu kot.

Takkan kita pula nak terus senang je. Tak advanterouslah macam tu kan.

So, now as time goes on, build toughness in yourself. Kuatkan diri!

Prepare for future :D

The TOUGHMe. Cluck! :6

DAY 19:Please just understand.

Problem? Always there.
One problem yang till now stay with me::
Tak tahu macam mana nak berterus-terang bout what what I feel. Sometimes can you almost crazy tau. Yelah. Bayangkan eh, for example that particular time you amat amatlah tak berpuas hati kat someone tu but somehow you don't know how to express it.Nak try secara brutal punya expression takut berlaku peperangan dunia kelapan, nak tell them nicely takut mereka mereka itu memperkotak-katikkan kita. In the end you stay in the middle. Terapung- apung.#kepak-kepak





So, that's what happening to me. Paling senang cerita lately nih. Kinda tak berpuas hati dengan someone yang truly tidak mengamalkan sikap kerjasama seperti yang diwar warkan oleh Wonderpet. I always hope that us can work together mengalahkan aur dengan tebing lah. Demi menjaga keamanan setempat kami bersama, but somehow what i got is far far far away from what am I expecting. Sedih sangat :((
tapi tak tahu macam mana nak expresskan kat dia. Karang face to face takut I hurt feeling dia. Nak tahan je macam tak adil pula dunia ni kan. Keadilan itu perlu ye..Yang berat sama dipikul, yang ringan sama dijinjing* cewah!boleh lawan karam singh walia tak??!_double-jerk :D

Oleh kerana,pihak saya sangat kurang bijaksana dalam hal ehwal meluahkan perasaan, jadi diharapkan pihak tuan dan puan untuk faham-faham sendiri. Sebelum hati saya ini meletup disebabkan bebanan menyimpan perasaaan terlalu banyak pihak saya memohon agar pihak tuan dan puan memberikan kerjasama yang sewajarnya. Kerjasama pihak tuan  dan puan didahului dengan ucapan terima kasih.

#Dunia belum kiamat, selagi itu kita masih boleh bertaubat:DDD

DAY 5

criiikkk..criiikkk..criiikkk...
#bunyi cengkerik
pergh.bosan tahap terabyte.today, no classes I am expecting it to be cool and ended happily ever after. but what I got is bored,bored,bored and again bored. Sunyi giler college. everybody pergi class. haiyo! bangun lambat memang lumrahlah kalau dah katanya cutikan?but rasa macam tak nak bangun je.bangun pun i got nothing to do.tadi adalah layan "Istanbul aku datang" kejap, but once the movie end. I was like.".............."
Clueless and boring gile pak cik.

So, guys what should I do. Study? Honestly,Not in the mood. I'm freaking out today. Cepatlah roomate ku and si Maryanne ni habis kelas.At least I got them untuk ajak gelak gelak or buat giler......or should I?Do it alone? What?!!

Baru fifth day you dah gile Syeikha.?Parah....

Guys.I tak gile. tapi boring tahap gile dah ni...Please someone cheer me up.

Sebijik rupa aku sekarang ni:(