DAY 60:Finally...it ends.

Our war was finally end. Quite relieve. Huhhhh..* deep breath...
The question was awesome! especially our essay question. Exactly the same as the one that we did in class before this-the same! But the 'melancholy' part #just remember this word.totally forgot about it when I want to express the sadness in my essay.damn! ... is that I know the idea of that particular question but I somehow realize that the structure of my essay*the one in the exam was kind of loose. No determination. It's kind of 'beat around the bush' like I was mumbling in the essay babbling about the deforestation without a clear means. I had the point*actually it was given. but it was not fully clarified, I just explain it on the base and tadaa..! Finish.

I am expecting this reaction when my English coordinator read my essay

 That's the situation for my English paper today. The sentence arrangement was shit. I think I've lost my ability to write an article or and essay in proper manner. The whole idea was a piece of junk as I hate the way I'm explaining the things. No maturation there. It was almost like a little kid's essay. Rubbish!*at least for me. Yes, by means of word used I can get quite*quite yeah good word usage but the grammar organization.? Again.? Please flush away my essay. I totally hate it even though it was written by myself. For grammar I was quite don't really care about it # not much. but for the sentence structure?It's hell! I've really lost my ability write it in versatile way.Like the one I used*for quite sometime... to be. It had a lot of mumbling in it that makes it long - really long but zero! No facts!. Just a babbling. .. I really need to do something with it or else I'm going to die or at least score bad in my upcoming MUET test. Seriously! Make up your writing Syeikha!. Grammar, sentence organization, style of writing * make it versatile-literally! so for your upcoming MUET test you can achieve your desired band 5 or 6. Not below than that! Mind it!
The first thing that I've to do is to correct back my writing style in this blog. The way I expressed my writing in this blog was really childish and unorganized. (Peeps, did you have any difficulties in attaining the idea of my past post.?Are you?Please, comment below).

LOL. That's soooo me!The latest me.-Terrible

I think I really really have to do a change here and to be active back in my reading. Not just read those books that related to my studies, I have to read others though. Speaking. Yes! That's included too. The last time I really really speak English. I mean real English was many years back. Long lost time. Now-not now, the few years back I speak 'rojak' English as a trend and I think it looks enjoyable though.*fool. Now, I have to face the consequence, my English wasn't getting better, it was getting worst-really worst.No doubt.!

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and... what else??!.....Oh! Switch 'on' my mind to catch any newest issue, general information. That may help. Miss the time I would find any article on something, keep it and read it back when I'm free. Use the issue in my essay. It really help me-a lot! and....read the 'high level magazine' not the cheeky, cheesy or what ever style magazine that would make my thinking to be immature. During my primary level I've read the 'high level thinking magazine' that really make me 'advance' from others especially in giving the opinion but ever since I'm in form 4, I've totally stop reading those 'high level thingy' and preferred the 'childish magazine' that had no critical thinking written in it just f.u.n. awww..such a lost...!It's a regret.
I REALLY NEED A CHANGE!REAL CHANGE....

*let's pod-casting! to learn their 'lingo'! So that we can have their accent in our daily pronunciation. Voila'!!!

XOXO

DAY 42: Qasidah|Belaian jiwa ...

Allah,

segala pujian bagimu :)

I truly enjoyed those Qasidah. Lembut menyentuh hati. Lirik yang cukup bermakna untuk kita semua.

Ingat lagi waktu zaman sekolah kat SBPI Selandar bila sampai ada je Qasidah serbu ke depan. Budak yang selalu melepak kat belakang surau pun ke depan sama-sama nyanyikan these Qasidah. Aku pun kalau boleh nak keluar kepala terus kat palang-palang surau tu*Surau dua tingkat.Sangat seronok dan bersemangat. Ingat lagi Qasidah yang paling berjaya buat ramai buka mulut luas-luas nyanyi sama-sama, mata besar-besar.Semangat sangat! Qasidah yang pertama aku dengar waktu form 4 dululah waktu mula-mula masuk Selandau ni hah, sebab aktiviti sekolah. Before that kalau orang tanya aku pasal Qasidah for sure muka macam telan taik cicak. I really don't know nothing. But Qasidah live buat kali pertama yang aku dengar pada hari tu. Memang cukup-cukup beri kesan dalam hidup aku. Aku gila gila gila suka Qasidah. Suara abang tu memang sedap, suara dia tak lembut sampai boleh buat orang leleh-leleh tapi suara dia sangat clear,lantang strike terus ke hati.Seriously sangat sedap. Tapi aku bukan minat Qasidah sebab suara abang tu eh. #korang jangan nak fikir pelik-pelik. Aku minat Qasidah sebab aku suka maksud dia, aku suka alunan dia. Sangat suka.Allah :)))

Yang tak pernah dengar tu, cuba try click-click video kat bawah ni. Sedap :)

Yang dah tahu Qasidah tu, jom kita hanyut dalam alunannya sekali lagi.

Yaa Badrotim| Wahai purnama :')

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Yaa Hanana| Bertapa beruntungnya kami

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Binabil Huda

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Yaa Imam Al Rusli Ya Sanadi

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Maula Ya Salli Wa Salim

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#Rasa nak study semua Qasidah jee. 

P/S:banyak lagi kot Qasidah yang ada..Try try cari kat YouTube. :)))

DAY 41 :Ketidaksempurnaan yang didengari Maha Sempurna

Kita dipandang baik. Dipandang hebat oleh manusia, menjadi buah pujian mulut masyarakat. Kebaikan kita  sentiasa dikenang sesama manusia tetapi itu bukan bermakna kita boleh menabik dada. Bangga dengan label 'baik' daripada masyarakat sekeliling, kerana cela itu tetap ada dalam setiap manusia tiada yang sempurna. Label 'baik' daripada pihak masyarakat selama ini adalah berkat kasih sayang Tuhan yang menutup aib yang ada pada kita. Kasih sayangnya yang menyelamatkan kita daripada tohmahan hina manusia. Sejujurnya, kita semua ada dosa sendiri yang hanya diketahui kita, dan kadangkala kita tidak mengetahuinya dan mereka-mereka tidak menyedarinya. Jadi tak perlulah berasa bangga dengan 'kebaikan' yang kita ada sekarang kerana disebalik kebaikan yang terserlah itu masih ada noda hitam yang terselindung.

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Meskipun tiada siapa yang mengetahui sisi gelap hidup kita tetapi Allah tetap mengetahuinya. Dia memerhati setiap langkah hidup kita yang penuh dengan liku-liku dosa tanpa kita sedar ataupun tidak. Tiada manusia yang suci daripada doa, maka sentiasa bertaubatlah siapa tahu ada doa semalam yang kita lakukan, ataupun saat kita bergelumang dalam dosa kerana kita tidakkan pernah mengetahui bila saatnya akan kita pergi. Siapa tahu ketika anda membaca post ini, perlahan-lahan nyawa ditarik daripada badan- tiada siapa yang lebih mengetahui dari-Nya. Pintu taubat itu sentiasa terbuka...

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Saat kita mula menyedari bahawa betapa diri ini cukup hina kerana mempersia segala nikmat yang diberi tanpa rasa bersalah hati terdetik 'Masihkah ada sinar buatku?'. Bolehkan Allah menerima insan sehina ku ini lagi?'. Hati terus ragu, 'Adakah taubatku didengarinya?'. Minda berbicara tanpa menyedari bahawa Allah adalah pendengar yang terbaik buat kita. Yang mendengar tanpa menghina, mendengar tanpa mencerca... Sebesar mana pun dosa kita adukanlah padaNya, Dia takkan pernah berhenti mendengar dan mendengar tanpa lelah kerana Dialah Maha Esa. Apapun jua tetap didengarinya ...Suarakan taubat mu itu padaNya.

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# Jangan menyangka diri kita adalah yang terbaik kerana kita masih ada dosa yang dilindung oleh kasih sayng Allah kepada hambanya. Oleh itu bertaubatlah tanpa rasa ragu sama ada taubat kita didengari atau tidak kerana Allah pastikan mendengar, sesunggunya Dia Maha Mendengar :))
Tazkirah bersama. Jom sucikan hati kita :D
XOXO

DAY 31:Half-time editor.

Cover page editted by Syeikha Zulaikha

Weheeeee.

How it looks?Cantik tak? Spend my fortunes kot nak siapkan benda yang teredit indah ini. Aicewah.

Sakit tengkuk I melayan this thing. Balik class tadi tadi terus memulun benda ni. 

and finally siap!Yeay! dah submit pun. tinggal nak print out the hard copy jee.

But yang buat den frust menonggeng tahap dewa ke lapan is that the deadline is next week.

Mati-mati I ingat kena hantar esok. Gila =,="

Penat ooohhh...

tapi takpelah at least dah siap so hai ke depan ni dah kosong sikitkan.

#Bad news!!!!! Nanti everyday we gonna have marching. Argghh. musuh hidup matiku.!

Day 28:Sia-sia sahaja:(

Aku baca pasal ni dan aku berbesar hati nak share dengan uolls peeps. :)

Today everything is getting better than yesterday. XD


10 PERKARA YANG TERMASUK SIA SIA


1.Laki-laki atau wanita yang berdoa untuk dirinya sendiri..tapi tidak memohonkan doa untuk ibu-bapaknya dan kaum Muslimin.


2.Orang yang sering membaca Al Quran..tapi tidak membaca secara tertib sampai seratus ayat tiap-tiap hari...


3.Laki-laki yang masuk ke dalam masjid..kemudian dia keluar dari masjid itu tanpa mengerjakan shalat tahiyatul-masjid..

4.Orang-orang yang melewati perkuburan..tapi tidak mengucapkan salam kepada penghuni-penghuni kubur dan tidak mendoakan untuk keselamatan arwah-arwah mereka...
5.Laki-laki yang masuk pada hari Jumaat ke suatu kota..kemudian dia keluar lagi dari kota itu tanpa mengerjakan shalat Jumaat berjemaah..

6.Laki-laki atau wanita yang tinggal di suatu lingkungan dengan seorang ulama.. tapi dia tidak mempergunakan kesempatan itu untuk menambah ilmu pengetahuan..
7.Dua orang laki-laki yang bersahabat..tapi mereka tidak saling menanyakan tentang keadaan masing-masing dan keluarganya..

8.Laki-laki yang mengundang seseorang menjadi tetamunya..tapi tidak diacuhkan dan tidak dilayani tetamunya itu..

9.Pemuda yang menjadikan zaman mudanya berlalu begitu saja tanpa memanfaatkan waktu yang berharga itu untuk menuntut ilmu dan meningkatkan budi pekerti..
10.Orang yang tidak menyadari tetangganya yang merintih lantaran kelaparan.. sedang dia sendiri makan kekenyangan di dalam rumahnya..

DAY 20: The TOUGH<-____->Me |:

Now,

being alone in room without my roommates or "zebra crossing" neighbor, sungguh-sungguhlah sunyi.

Budak dua orang ni pun satu. Nak tinggalkan aku sekali dua-dua terus. At least bergilir-gilirlah.

One can't wait to go back home for Christmas, the other one over-spirited go for Muhayyam.

maka tinggallah beta keseorangan mengenang nasib sendiri.#cough

But somehow there's a benefit behind all these.

At least they give me some space to think, to motivate myself.

Alaaaa..lebih kurang sesi tazkirah kepada diri sendirilah.Kalau budak dua ketul ni ada, tak ada maknanya nak tazkirah-tazkirah, tarzan-tarzaniah adalah.LOL

...

So, while being alone right now, I start to think my past, my present and my future.

Recalling back what I've done all these days. Is it the right thing or absolutely wrong. 

Recalling and scanning my past and my present, realizing I've done a lot lot of mistakes without perceiving it. Make stupid things without long thought. Most of the decision I made was based on what I think might be cool, fun leaving the thought on what's the consequences. Senang cerita keputusan buta. Buta pada keseronakan dan kepuasan perasaan manusia. So, that's the virus yang dapat dikesan dalam proses scanning. There's a lot more yang dijumpai but takkanlah I nak tulis semua kat sini nanti jadi karangan SPM pulak kan?

Not just to stop there,

I'm thinking but my future too. Gerangan apakah si Syeikha ini akan jadi pada masa hadapan. Trying to thing about that. Have the thought, 'macam mana hidup sebagai fully grown up adult?'. Susah ke senang. How it would be? Macam mana nanti I nak uruskan my own life. Uruskan duit sendiri, makan minum sendiri, rumah sendiri, kereta... you know that thought  that come when you see an adult. Semua difikirkan. How is my life when I live alone.? * Boleh ke I hidup seorang. Yelah, right now tak rasa seoang sangat because of suasana kolej tu kan walaupun dah jauh daipada family. Yang cuba dibayangkan nanti the time when I dah fully keluar dari family house ada my bungalow sendiri *tak kongsi-kongsi lagi dengan ayah. Macam mana keadaan tu nanti.?

Mesti lonelykan? Creepy pun ada juga. Yelah, dah kata duduk seorang. Takde geng tukang buat bising,yang ada bunyi sengkerik je. Mesti masa tu bulu roma tegak mengalahkan KLCC. sesi rewinding cerita hantu yang pernah dilihat,didengar semua keluar- non-stop.

Pergh~! tak dapat eden bayangkan. 

Dah teragak-agak ni. Dah besar nanti nak duduk sorang ke tak? Nak ke tak? #bajet diri masih kecil lagi je...

But when we try to think it deeply.Sampai bila nak duduk bawah ketiak wangi ayah and ibu, sampai bila nak bergayut kat diorang kan? 

Kalau fikirkan takut tu memang takut, tapi kalau nak diikutkan takut kita tu je sampai bila tak ke mana.

Nak ke sana. "eeeiiii.takutlah",  pakej sekali dengan muka nak makan penampar.

Nak ke situ. "Alaaa, tak beranilah"

Alamatnya, membatulah kat situ. Kan?

Better make a move kan. Buanglah rasa takut takut tu semua Buat semak je.

Keluar dari kepompong tu.

tak perlu takut nak menghadapi cabaran future.

Erase semua mentality expecting everything will be as comfortable as what our mum an dad prepare for us.

That fear to your future was actually because of this mentality.

Come on fella,

before parent give you what you have now,diorang susah payah dulu kot.

Takkan kita pula nak terus senang je. Tak advanterouslah macam tu kan.

So, now as time goes on, build toughness in yourself. Kuatkan diri!

Prepare for future :D

The TOUGHMe. Cluck! :6

DAY 19:Please just understand.

Problem? Always there.
One problem yang till now stay with me::
Tak tahu macam mana nak berterus-terang bout what what I feel. Sometimes can you almost crazy tau. Yelah. Bayangkan eh, for example that particular time you amat amatlah tak berpuas hati kat someone tu but somehow you don't know how to express it.Nak try secara brutal punya expression takut berlaku peperangan dunia kelapan, nak tell them nicely takut mereka mereka itu memperkotak-katikkan kita. In the end you stay in the middle. Terapung- apung.#kepak-kepak





So, that's what happening to me. Paling senang cerita lately nih. Kinda tak berpuas hati dengan someone yang truly tidak mengamalkan sikap kerjasama seperti yang diwar warkan oleh Wonderpet. I always hope that us can work together mengalahkan aur dengan tebing lah. Demi menjaga keamanan setempat kami bersama, but somehow what i got is far far far away from what am I expecting. Sedih sangat :((
tapi tak tahu macam mana nak expresskan kat dia. Karang face to face takut I hurt feeling dia. Nak tahan je macam tak adil pula dunia ni kan. Keadilan itu perlu ye..Yang berat sama dipikul, yang ringan sama dijinjing* cewah!boleh lawan karam singh walia tak??!_double-jerk :D

Oleh kerana,pihak saya sangat kurang bijaksana dalam hal ehwal meluahkan perasaan, jadi diharapkan pihak tuan dan puan untuk faham-faham sendiri. Sebelum hati saya ini meletup disebabkan bebanan menyimpan perasaaan terlalu banyak pihak saya memohon agar pihak tuan dan puan memberikan kerjasama yang sewajarnya. Kerjasama pihak tuan  dan puan didahului dengan ucapan terima kasih.

#Dunia belum kiamat, selagi itu kita masih boleh bertaubat:DDD

DAY 16:Set up the goals of yours|Achieve it!

"Alaaa.mentang-mentanglah dah nak new year startlah posting things like goals goals segala.Sepak bola masuk gol je lah"

Hey!Hey!
Guys this thing that I was posting today has nothing to do with the upcoming new year eh. Not.Not at all.
have the thought  of writing this because our beloved English coordinator was asking us.

"So till now, what have you all achieved your goal for this year?"

All of us like,"....."

then she said,"No one had achieved anything?

Suddenly there's a voices came out," We don't even know what we want Madam."

SET!
Credit:allthingsd.com

"Seriously?!then how did you know that you have achieved anything.?"

"It's just come, Madam!"Ryan reply her.

"It's all miracle,Madam.Miracle!" me added up.

So that's the event that had brought me to this "Goals" thingy.

Our Madam had achieved most of her goals except for two ;
 reducing her weight and travelling overseas.
but that's not the matter that I want to bring up now.
It's the thing that she did have her goals and enthusiastically try to achieve her goals.

PLAN.
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I was impressed by the spirit that she had brought out. So impressive!

because of I was sooo   terpengaruh with her.
I've realize the importance of having a goals and achieving it
tak jadi juga if you just set your goal but put no effort to achieve it it.Kan?
like my last goal
Konon-kononnya nak 4flat but my effort was like,
 "tiiiiiittttt........tiitt.....tiiiiiitttttt...ttiiiii.....titititititiitittit"
"Maaf pesakit tak dapat diselamatkan".

ACHIEVE!
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 Nazak sangatlah effort yang saya tampilkan ye tuan dan puan sekalian.
Guys,
Make sure you really really understand what your goals is.
and after knowing what it's all about then plan ; what you should do, when should you start, how can you achieve it and etc.
By doing this you'll have a clear view of what you gonna do to achieve your goals.
Next is,long lasting enthusiasm.
Why did I add long lasting there?
Pernah tak dengar peribahasa "hangat hangat tahi ayam"
that's it!
the problem when you just have your enthusiasm waktu awal awal je, as time goes on you pun lemah longlai tak berdaya lagi.Got it.
Long lasting enthusiasm, hold into it.Okay!:)))

So peeps, anything our goals is just work it out and achieve it. God Bless!:D



#just now I ada public speaking and I believe that I'd it well XD
Wedding thing.Takdelah sebencana like what I thought, okay je!

DAY 13:You raise me up | Ayah-Ibu

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.


You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

#Raise me up _ Westlife

DAY 10:Malicious inner voices

Have you ever think about how did yourself learn all this while??
Did ya??
As far as I am concern(*kuikui) most of us don't bother to much about how did they learn.
Me too.Anyone with me?!??
All these while I thought that learning process just come naturally.
Heard to others either in conversation or in lecture and simply absorb all their saying, right??
But things are getting harder lately.
I hardly able to absorb all those information that my lecturer was presenting.
Sometimes totally lost till I ended up saying,
"Ala...takpelah.balik bilik nanti aku study. Kaji sendiri je lah."
Daaaaaa..that's it. and almost 60% of my own kajian.ended up without a start. Got it.?
It's a mess fella.!
Its kinda weird why am I becoming like this...
Maybe because too much facts, figures and, experience stuffed into my brain causing it to have less room for new ideas and thoughts?
Okay. That's totally rubbish.
How- on earth that our brain got its limit.? Ingat ni pendrive ke cik Syeikha oi...=.='
What ever it is, the need for learning never ends, so your desire to do so should always outweigh your desire to be right. The world is changing and new ideas pop up everyday; incorporating them into your life will keep you engaged and relevant.






and....
after few times mind-troubleshoot.
I find out that there's 97.9% of probability that my INNER VOICE was actually disturbing my fact crunching mood. Sort of dangerous malicious virus is now attacking my mind......!(absolute crap mumble.)

Sometimes it talk "diamond",sometimes just "crap.

WHAT?!inner voice??? wth are you talking about.

Oh well baby....
You know the one I am talking about. It's the little voice that offers a running commentary when you are listening to someone. It's the voice that brings up your own opinion about the information being provided.
THE TALKING MIND.


ME,myself always always and always, I repeat again always do that.

When my lecturer start to say this and this
at the same mind my Great fella INNER VOICE would like to say,

'Ooooh.......It's actually like this and this.relate to this and that...',
so on and so forth.
and guess what happen to me???

DAY 9:Put yourself under spotlight.

I've learn something valuable today.

Never ever hide your talent.

Me,you,he,she or anyone have the gift of talent. Each of us have it- no exception!

All of us have many special abilities and our talent is basically our unique set of special abilities.

But usually most of haven't discover their special talent, even worst some of us did came up with a conclusion that he or she was the most unlucky,stupid and etc- homo sapiens on earth without even try to find the long-lost abilities that they hope for. Poor man. Lose without fight :((

So guys, wake up and let's talent-time. haha.

That only the intro kot.

what I tried to highlight right now is.....

NOT TO HIDE YOUR DISCOVERED TALENT.wachaaaa!

Guys..?

what's going on..

why on earth did you hide your talent

that's so so so..

Rugioooooo. Manyak rugi.

haha

Other people try their best to find the 'diamond' in themselves.

But you..

the other way around.

Tell me. What did you get by hiding me.Tell me!tell me!tell me...#cough

Sorry.Over-reacted.LOL

Did you aware that by using our own gift of talent, we can all make the difference in the world.

Make the world a better place.World fella.It's world. See?

How powerful is one's talent. Sad of you.

Don't bother to hide your talent.

Please use it for God sake.

Or

You'll becoming me

Still in regret...

I once got the spotlight for my talent.

but  it was so upsetting that I've made my mind to isolate that particular talent of mine.

because of childish thinking and attitude of mine.That always expecting the very best result of my effort.

and once I fall...I thought that's the end of me-how humiliating...

Have a long thought on it guys...

You need a long, long thought on it.

before regretting it.

Show it up.Let the your parents,friends,teacher, and the world know the special talent of your.

Never ever let the spotlight that shine gloriously on yourself, switched off-never!

Got this.On you :)))

P/S: Thanks to someone. Making me realize, the lost part of me.I'll try to fight to the best of me:)