being alone in room without my roommates or "zebra crossing" neighbor, sungguh-sungguhlah sunyi.
Budak dua orang ni pun satu. Nak tinggalkan aku sekali dua-dua terus. At least bergilir-gilirlah.
One can't wait to go back home for Christmas, the other one over-spirited go for Muhayyam.
maka tinggallah beta keseorangan mengenang nasib sendiri.#cough
But somehow there's a benefit behind all these.
At least they give me some space to think, to motivate myself.
Alaaaa..lebih kurang sesi tazkirah kepada diri sendirilah.Kalau budak dua ketul ni ada, tak ada maknanya nak tazkirah-tazkirah, tarzan-tarzaniah adalah.LOL
...
So, while being alone right now, I start to think my past, my present and my future.
Recalling back what I've done all these days. Is it the right thing or absolutely wrong.
Recalling and scanning my past and my present, realizing I've done a lot lot of mistakes without perceiving it. Make stupid things without long thought. Most of the decision I made was based on what I think might be cool, fun leaving the thought on what's the consequences. Senang cerita keputusan buta. Buta pada keseronakan dan kepuasan perasaan manusia. So, that's the virus yang dapat dikesan dalam proses scanning. There's a lot more yang dijumpai but takkanlah I nak tulis semua kat sini nanti jadi karangan SPM pulak kan?
Not just to stop there,
I'm thinking but my future too. Gerangan apakah si Syeikha ini akan jadi pada masa hadapan. Trying to thing about that. Have the thought, 'macam mana hidup sebagai fully grown up adult?'. Susah ke senang. How it would be? Macam mana nanti I nak uruskan my own life. Uruskan duit sendiri, makan minum sendiri, rumah sendiri, kereta... you know that thought that come when you see an adult. Semua difikirkan. How is my life when I live alone.? * Boleh ke I hidup seorang. Yelah, right now tak rasa seoang sangat because of suasana kolej tu kan walaupun dah jauh daipada family. Yang cuba dibayangkan nanti the time when I dah fully keluar dari family house ada my bungalow sendiri *tak kongsi-kongsi lagi dengan ayah. Macam mana keadaan tu nanti.?
Mesti lonelykan? Creepy pun ada juga. Yelah, dah kata duduk seorang. Takde geng tukang buat bising,yang ada bunyi sengkerik je. Mesti masa tu bulu roma tegak mengalahkan KLCC. sesi rewinding cerita hantu yang pernah dilihat,didengar semua keluar- non-stop.
Pergh~! tak dapat eden bayangkan.
Dah teragak-agak ni. Dah besar nanti nak duduk sorang ke tak? Nak ke tak? #bajet diri masih kecil lagi je...
But when we try to think it deeply.Sampai bila nak duduk bawah ketiak wangi ayah and ibu, sampai bila nak bergayut kat diorang kan?
Kalau fikirkan takut tu memang takut, tapi kalau nak diikutkan takut kita tu je sampai bila tak ke mana.
Nak ke sana. "eeeiiii.takutlah", pakej sekali dengan muka nak makan penampar.
Nak ke situ. "Alaaa, tak beranilah"
Alamatnya, membatulah kat situ. Kan?
Better make a move kan. Buanglah rasa takut takut tu semua Buat semak je.
Keluar dari kepompong tu.
tak perlu takut nak menghadapi cabaran future.
Erase semua mentality expecting everything will be as comfortable as what our mum an dad prepare for us.
That fear to your future was actually because of this mentality.
Come on fella,
before parent give you what you have now,diorang susah payah dulu kot.
Takkan kita pula nak terus senang je. Tak advanterouslah macam tu kan.
So, now as time goes on, build toughness in yourself. Kuatkan diri!
Prepare for future :D
The TOUGHMe. Cluck! :6
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